Taking responsibility

I have already been working for 4 months at my current job.  In this time I have actually done very little work in the position I was and am meant for, but instead have done a lot of work outside of my job title, including translation, teaching, presentations, meetings, research, etc.  I believe this has to do with the role of responsibility in Chinese business practices.  

There is not a lot of attention paid to new employees; there is no training, no code of conduct, no list of work goals, objectives, and no set company culture.  It is like being thrown into the middle of the wilderness straight out of cosmopolitan and being told to "survive."  What happens from there is that you interact with people naturally on your own, or randomly, and those people find uses for you, but no one wants to actually claim responsibility for you and list out a plan for your work.  I'm not sure exactly why this is, but I can speculate.

In Chinese there is the saying "the tallest tree is hit with the most wind," basically don't stick your head out.  When you take responsibility, you are effectively sticking your head out, whether it is for someone else's work or for your own.  I find this especially taxing in my situation, as I came in without a job title at all and have been tossed around quite a bit since, with higher-ups having some notion of what they want to do with me, but the less higher-ups not sure how to not stick their head out and still deal with me.  What ended up happening was I was left to do work that had nothing to with any of them for most of the time, but 4 months later they look back and see "oh, we haven't done anything with you yet to move you along."  So what is the next step? Push responsibility to someone else and say that you have been too "busy."  

Responsibility goes from the highest up, to just below him, to just below him, and finally edges its way to the bottom of the pit where picking up extra responsibilty is all you can do.    So yet again I get the vague speech about doing something that I was promised months ago, with the always assuring tag line "take it one step at a time, learn slowly."

I'm a little bit less foolish than that, and have a little more ambition than the average Chinese dream of accomplishment by the age of 30.  Don't get me wrong, I am very happy in life; I am taking on a huge challenge and adventure just being here, I am chasing my dreams, I am developing as a person, and I enjoy all of the things I enjoyed in the States (including sports, good food, comfortable living, dating, movies, video games, etc).  I just like to look the hard questions in life right in the face.

Responsibility for my career and my growth is in my hands, and I should never feel like it is in someone else's hands, even if they think it is in their hands - which happens to go well with my personal development goals.  As long as I keep my values congruent in all aspects of my life, including work, which means that I am honest, straightforward, hard-working, mature, and responsible, then this should be a small problem.  I need to take a firm grasp of this responsibility and make things happen at work, and if work fights back against it, then I am definitly in the wrong place.  I nearly convinced myself that I could be in Beijing and not worry about my career, but that would be accepting a mediocre life, in which only some parts are fulfilling, while the rest get left behind.  I want every part of my life to be fulfilling, so I must face these problems.  

I have yet to really push the envelope at work, and have let things flow (as a Chinese would do), but it is unnatural for me.  I do not want to challenge authority just to challenge it, but I want to challenge inefficiency, wastefulness, and dishonesty at the work place.  I won't do this in a confronting way, but rather in a way that does not make people feel that they are being threatened by it.  It is time to take responsibility for my career at every step; it is time to stop hiding in the corner waiting for other's to give me opportunities; it is time to stand up and show people what I can do.