Mixed Feelings

After writing my blog this morning I got a blast of energy and stormed through my work.  I got a lot done before noon, and actually my weekly report is as long in 3 days as it usually is in a week.  Actually, I previously may not have been working as hard on this as I should be.  In the beginning my reports were over 10 pages long weekly, with extra information that I had researched above and beyond the call of duty.  I would change the organization weekly, updating it as I got better.  As time went on I didn't receive any feedback about it and I started working on other things, so even though I was still responsible for this project I let it fall.  Now doing it feels like a chore, instead of something important that got me bursting with energy.  I was reading "winning" by jack welch today, in which he mentions that it is extremely important to always give more than you are asked for at work, and in ways that aren't expected.  When given other work, I'm sure it was expected that I would not keep up as much with this report, but instead I should be doing it even better than before, as my time does allow for it.  

After lunch I completely crashed.  I don't know what hit me - maybe being sick, lack of rest, or overuse of energy lately, but I had a hard time getting any work done.  I did some translation, but I was not productive, and neither was anyone else for that matter, but that is not something I want to pride myself on.  

As somehow work just felt like trying to carry a large boulder up a mountain, I decided to do some casual reading and writing.  I found the book "winning" online in PDF format, and so I spent some time reading about it.  Just like Steve Pavlina, Jack Welch is down to earth and does not believe in any fast path to success.  He believes that hard work, honesty, and personal development lead to success in your career.  The book has a lot of amazing advice, and I am taking fervent notes and making a list of things that I can improve on at work, including candor, over-delivering, making everyone else look good, and accepting responsibility for the bad.  

In terms of writing, I decided to reexamine my reason for being in China and pinpoint my goals again so I can refocus my energy.  I don't need to post that ramble here, but basically 
I came to the conlusion that I need to focus more on language and cultural learning as that is
what I can get here but can't get anywhere else, while I can probably get a better career elsewhere.  My main goal for being in China is to learn about the culture, for personal reasons, and for future career improvement.  One day when I call in this advantage for my career if I didn't actually learn enough about the culture or language to be helpful, I will be kicking myself.  I'll be exploring this a lot more in the coming days / weeks by rearranging my goals so that this can be on top (of my medium term goals).  Of course this doesn't mean that I shouldn't be focusing on my career, but I have to channel my energy after work a little differently.  

At lunch there was a misunderstanding (nothing big, but I was conscious of how I handled it and reflected later on it) that I did not handle so well.  I am still a little impatient and should have been a lot more understanding / forgiving / open when handling the situation.  As my grandma just pointed out as she reads my blog, I should not forget interior development for external goals.  Thanks grandma :)

The rest of my day went pretty lazy.  I was originally going to hit a cafe to study with a friend, but we ended up eating japanese (it was amazing, I love the cheese stuffed Pork rolls!) and then watching a movie.  After that I read some more of "winning", studied chinese for a bit (like 30 minutes) and then hopped on to write this blog entry.  Not bad I guess, at least I am keeping up the habit, which I think is the most important thing.  

This is the longest I have kept up with daily blogging.  I'm already beginning to surprise myself!  While everything is not going perfectly, this is just the beginning (which means I have yet to establish any real base for any of this change in my life as well...).  

Well, that's about it for me for tonight.  Hope to get up early even on the vacation.