I read a very interesting article by the blogger V at violent acres yesterday and I can't get it out of my head because it hit me very close to home.
Here's the link:
http://www.violentacres.com/archives/307/learning-to-love-yourself-is-a-pointless-waste-of-time
She goes on to say that finding yourself is a complete waste of time, quoting Thomas Szasz "People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates."
Her main point seems to be that finding yourself is not an active action, but passive. People who are looking to find themselves focus inward but never end up finding anything that makes them happy, but rather more things to hate about themselves.
This is really true. Ever since I started this blog I've come up with more and more faults of mine that I needed to work on. Constant introspection has lead me to really question myself in every part of my life - which isn't a very happy existence (although I am happy, but perhaps not to the extent I could be) and definitely won't get me places. While understanding your faults and working on them is great, but spending 99% of your conscious effort on learning to love yourself or "find yourself" is a little overboard. I never really defined what finding myself meant anyway.
I don't completely agree with her argument that you have to love others to learn to love yourself, I don't see why it couldn't happen at the same time. She is right though that I am getting too caught up in my own psyche and spending too much time on introspection while I should be balancing it with a focus outside of myself.
It's like my grandma told me the other day: "Don't take yourself too seriously" - as in, my personal problems / character flaws are not that big of a deal and I shouldn't worry that much about it.
Good stuff. I'm off to a soccer tournament.
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1 comment:
Yeah, I can see what that person means, but I think that it's important to find yourself before you go out and find others. But then like you said, it's good to find a balance between both. I think people should be there to help support you, and it is theraputic, at least to some, to help others because it can help you feel better too. But if your not right yourself, it's hard to help others. But gotta stay positive about the self improvement for the most part, that way you can continue to encourage yourself to keep it going. Keep it up man, I'm rooting for ya!
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