Chocolate and Vanilla

Which flavor do you like more.

Chocolate
or
Vanilla
?

If you like chocolate more, statistics tell us that you are more likely to be adventurous, charming, and overall successful. If you like vanilla more, you are loving, traditional, and probably don't make much money.

Bullshit.

My 11Th grade English teacher taught me something about chocolate and vanilla, and finally today I understand what he meant. Is the above question really given a choice? If two plates are put in front of you, one with chocolate ice cream and one with vanilla, is there really a choice? No. This is no exercise of free will, this is biology at work. You will pick the one that your taste buds have come to like. Perhaps it's psychology - the one you attach more meaning to. Who knows, but it sure as hell has nothing to do with who you are and is nothing to attach too much meaning to.

We can stretch it a little further, but this one is a little harder to understand so bear with me. You cannot choose who you love. When my teacher told me this, I had a really hard time believing him. "Of course I can choose who I love." What he meant was that who you love is not an important choice - it is simply a natural selection based on factors that are out of the control of your conscious mind's free will. Who you meet, who you run into daily, who happens to spill their latte in your lap is not up to you: this is chance. What kind of person you are attracted to has been build into your system to be mechanical - can you get yourself to like the ugly fat girl that if she just was hot would possess all of the great qualities that you want? No, even though you might really want to sometimes, it's just not up to you. Someone will love the ugly fat girl, but it won't be you.

If you can accept the above premises, then you can move on to the thesis. What you LIKE, FEEL, and what happens by CHANCE is not important. Phew*! If you win the lottery - you should let it affect you as much as if you're house were struck by lightening -- none. Was it in your power to win the lottery? Those of you who say yes are probably too far in denial to have understood anything up to this point anyway, so I'll just skip to the NO part. Was it in your power for your house to be hit by lightening? No, of course not, but people seem to get caught up taking responsibility for good things that happen and running from it when bad things happen anyway. None of it was your doing - life threw you a curve ball.

Sure, these things are going to affect your finances, perhaps your health, or something. These things are real, but that is not the point. Where you put your attention and your focus in life IS the point. Here's an example: Marriage. Due to inability to control chance, taste, and feelings you fall in love with Bob the robot and he with you. Your best friend Shirley falls in love with Prince Charming, but prince charming doesn't love her. She continues after Prince charming for years, eventually becoming his mistress while he marries another woman. You on the other hand marry Bob and have a happy marriage. Shirley becomes a rich mistress, you became the wife of a robot. Shirley feels superior to you as her taste in men is far superior to yours. She mentions this every time you meet. You, on the other hand, are in love with Bob and instead of spending the time comparing with her, you focus on improving your relationship with Bob.

Shirley wasted years chasing after someone who didn't like her instead of realizing that chance did not "favor" her and Mr. Charming and moving on. You married someone you loved instead of trying to make taste and feelings a tool of your free will, because it isn't. You then can focus on other things in life that really matter, such as being happy with your husband, while she will continue to live as a mistress and rejected. See the difference? One has accepted the realities of life and lives within them, while the other chases illusions and will never come out of the shadows.

I want to write more, but I think I'll get too far off topic. I think I'll write another post on this soon.